NEW!! - Healing Forum/Discussion Board
Easy to use discussion board where you can post your comments and reply to other's messages in a public forum. (replaces the old guest book)
If you or someone you know is a suicide survivor, please visit.
My two other video tributes for Turd and Pepper
The Turd video tribute: http://youtube.com/watch?v=0c61UwJLIMo&feature=user
The Pepper video tribute: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pjqMrOITGQs
My Chemical Romance - All I Want For Christmas Is You
Jazzy wanted this song posted, so here ya go 
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1 Comment
Hi Moma
How is it in Florida? I’m doing good here. It’s 20 days until my birthday! I promised to write you in the morning, so here. Yeah… I’m going to Daddy’s in a little bit. Not much is happening. I hope you are watching my Taylor Tribute on Youtube. P.S. everybody, if you you go to Youtube.com and search “iliveonthelake” then there is all my videos. Have a good time Moma! Sincerely, Jazmin XOXOXO
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I love you Jazzy! I miss you already like crazy but the good news is that I’m doing much better than I thought I would. I’m eating good, I’m not panicky or scared. This trip will be much better than last time.
I will watch your vid when I get to Florida. We leave for the airport from here in about 2 hours. Rhondas cats have done something with her sound so I can’t hear the music you picked hehe…
I love you and miss you. And I will be ok. *sigh… I’ll see you soon, love! *smooch
Mom
Comment by Niccole — August 1, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
Lyrics to I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance
To: Taylor’s Ex-Girlfriend
From: Taylor
Well when you go… don’t ever think I’ll make you try to stay. And maybe when you get back I’ll be off to find another way. And after all the time that you still owe, you’re still a good-for-nothing I don’t know. So take your gloves and get out. Better get out… while you can. When you go would even turn to say… I don’t love you like I did yesterday. Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading. So sick and tired of all the needless beating. But baby when they knock you down and out is where you outta stay. And after all the blood that you still owe, another dollar’s just another blow. So fix your eyes and get up. Better get up while you can. When you go would you even turn to say… I don’t love you like I did yesterday. When you go would you have the guts to say… I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday. I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday. I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday.
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3 Comments
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We know how this took a sharp and drastic turn but honestly I don’t think he was doing this to be revengeful. He did this to stop his hurt. That part of our brain that functions in a way that makes us cough when we’re choking or swim like mad when we’re drowning… it turned off. He shut down and shut off.
He loved you and always said how he’s going to watch out for you. He’s still going to do that. We shouldn’t even give what’s her name so much credit. There were many things that affected Taylor that led up to this. She was just the tip of the iceberg.
I love you and am proud that you’re so open to express how you feel now. Someone traded in my shy little girl and handed me a spitfire! But you’re level headed and bright. You’re going to have a great life when you grow up. You’re insightful and exhuberant and you will always have a protective light shining around you wherever you go and whatever you do.
I love you.
Comment by Niccole — July 22, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
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“Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading.” Taylor pleaded for Chelsea not to leave him. “So sick and tired of all the needless beating.” Taylor’s ex-girlfriend’s parents were beating him down. “But baby when they knock you down and out is where you outta stay.” Exactly. “When you go would you even turn to say… I don’t love you like I did yesterday.” One day Taylor’s ex-girlfriend loved him, and the next day she called up and said she had a new boyfriend. “And maybe when you get back I’ll be off to find another way.” He found another way, didn’t he? “Well when you go… don’t ever think I’ll make you try to stay.” Well now would you think he would make her try to stay?
There is what was relating. -
Ok Jaz…. You know I’m slow but I eventually get it
I’ll see you and your dad at 6.Comment by Niccole — July 23, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
Lyrics to Cancer by My Chemical Romance
Turn away if you could get me a drink of water ’cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call my aunt Marie… help her gather all my things, and bury me in all my favorite colors, my sisters and my brothers still… I will not kiss you… ’cause the hardest part of this is leavin’ you. Now turn away… ’cause I’m awful just to see. ‘Cause all my hair’s abandoned all my body, oh my agony! Know that I will never marry. Baby I’m just soggy from the chemo, but countin’ down the days to go. It just ain’t livin’, and I just hope you know… that if you say goodbye today I’d ask you to be true. ‘Cause the hardest part of this is leavin’ you. ‘Cause the hardest part of this is leavin’ you.
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3 Comments
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I know sweetheart. It feels like he WAS ill for a while. Just like cancer. Depression and anxiety is real and it affects us all in different ways. You will stay strong and you will always be capable of staying strong because you have experienced more pain (which will turn into KNOWLEDGE and WISDOM) than most people who have lived their full lives.
He didn’t want to leave us and hurt us. He knew that together our strength combined would pull us through this and we will survive. I love you baby girl. You’re so strong and I’m so proud of you. He’s watching over you. You’ve seen proof. You hang onto that.
Love you Jazzy
Comment by Niccole — July 22, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
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I wasn’t saying it was like cancer. I was just bored and it was a short song.
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Well I can relate it even if you don’t. I’ll see you in a bit sweetheart. I love you!
Comment by Niccole — July 23, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
The best dream ever
I LOVE THIS DREAM! Taylor was in it! And it wasn’t bad like the last one. My mom and Doug went to some electronics place, and then Taylor drove up and I was in his car. The face, I could see it! And I wasn’t scared! Anyway, I was like- in my mind-”OH MY GOD, TAYLOR!” And then I said, “Taylor, you’re here?” And he said” Yes” or something like that. I asked “Where did you learn to drive?” I was already thinking heaven. He said “Heaven.” like it was supposed to be obvious. I asked “Do you have flying cars in heaven?” He said “Yeah!” like it was cool. I asked “Do you have a pet in heaven?” He said something and it was very long and I wasn’t paying attention. I think he said yes. I didn’t want to ask again because knowing Taylor, he would get annoyed. And then we parked somewhere. There was some dogs there. AND THERE WAS PEPPER! I got to pet my dog! : D Anyway, oh yeah I forgot to mention that in the beggining he hugged me! So, ANYWAY, he drove me home. P.S. He’s a really good driver! I asked “Why did you take me here? Shouldn’t you take me to Moma and Doug?” He said something, but I forgot. It meant like “It’s okay, they’ll find you.” I said “Okay.” Then we hugged again, then I woke up. This is probably the best dream of my life, and is going to be the best dream of my life. Oh, and we were like driving around Seattle or something.
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Jazzy, here’s that poem I was telling you about tonight! Happy Birthday Sweetie!! I love you!!
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown…
Comment by Marie — August 21, 2007 @ 11:24 pm
Counfused
Last night I did have a dream… about Taylor. Actually it led to Taylor. Me and my friends were playin’ around and then we decided to go outside. There he was. I wasn’t suprised, shocked, etc. He started to play a game with us. The game had three steps. I feel really guilty for this part. On the third step it was just me and him and we had to walk someplace. I said “This better not be a suprise, or I’m gonna kill you times two!” Now, of course I was just playing. But then Taylor ran over to a chair and lay on his side not facing me. He said “People keep on saying they’re going to kill me!” More like annoyed than dissapointed. But I don’t know if he actually said that or not, I couldn’t quite hear him. I said “I’m sorry Taylor-” I didn’t get to finish. I was gonna say “I didn’t mean it that way.” Then he said “What have I done? I let everybody down!” I don’t know if he said “let everybody down” but he said something like that. I said “No Taylor, it was meant to be.” And then I woke up. I’m confused if he still loves me, which I’m sure he still does, I almost didn’t even say that. I’m confused if what I said was wrong. I’m confused. And the weird thing is that his face and hair and everything was the same as usual, unlike my what he looked like in my mom’s dream. So if you have any comments or answers to my questions, please comment.
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Just chattin’
Hi… I’m pretty bored but I’m about to go to bed. Happy Birthday and goodnight Taylor! : )
New Site
I’m probably going to get my own site like jazmincarpenter.com or something. I’m excited!
My Favorite Dog
This is my FAVORITE dog in the whole wide world. An Alaskan Malamute.
They’re so beautiful and nice too!
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3 Comments
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Hey Jazzy tell your Mom and Doug that the Humane Society has two really really I mean REALLY huge Alaskan Malamutes…One is almost as tall as Erik!! I miss your cute Lil’ face! Love you!
Comment by mariephillips — June 9, 2007 @ 7:45 pm
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Hey Marie! I will tell them, thanks! I’ll tell my dad too because I know they won’t go over there. I hope to see you soon! Tell Erik I said hi! -Jaz
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Thanks Marie!!!!! You gonna build a fence and babysit? You had a blast last time hehhehe…
Comment by Niccole — June 25, 2007 @ 2:44 am
trifold monsters
Not sure if you guys have ever done this or not but it ended up being kinda fun. We visited our family counselor yesterday for the first time to go over the grief, anger, rage, and support for each other with our wonderful Darlene…. and I think we all are in a somewhat healthy place for what it is…. Afterwards, we went to dinner at Lucky Chopsticks. Darlene gave her something that I think was from Jack in the box where there’s a scroll of paper and 3 doors… On each one, me, Doug, and Jazzy drew either a head, body, or legs.
She wanted me to upload these and have a spot on Taylors site where she can write letters, draw pictures, or write stories about what we’re doing day to day and how she is coping along with the rest of us.
Here they are:
.jpg "trifold monsters jazzy1")
.jpg "trifold monsters jazzy2")
It was a nice distraction and kinda cute I thought but she was making up names for most of them. Just whatever she felt naming them. Notice for those who know that the ones she found the most scary looking, she named after the people who scared her and Taylor in the past.
Something we can’t ignore obviously, but I think my baby girl is doing “ok” so far. I love you Jazzy….
Mom
Thanks Doug!
Comment by Jazmin — November 1, 2007 @ 6:30 pm