You asked me if you could get Gramma real good so of course, I’m all over that. You had your girl buddy call and tell her she was pregnant and act like she was crying and all this stuff. The laughter that rolled through the house, omg, I’ll never forget. Gramma called me within SECONDS, “Do you know what I just heard?” She was irate!! I couldn’t let it go on any further without laughing and you were laughing for the rest of the day. She was very relieved everything was ok but she was so pissed at you! Not really mad pissed, but laughing kinda at herself and loving you and your weird humor.

I miss you baby boy. I can’t believe there will be sooooooo many April fools days in my future and you won’t be here to be funny with me. I don’t feel so funny anymore. I can put on the act, but it’s not the same without you.

RIP Taylor, I’m so sorry

“at grandma/papa’s house, doug was about to come over to talk to grandma and papa and he couldn’t know we were there so grandma rushed me and erik into the bedroom (grandma’s) and i don’t know where moma went but me and erik were in there and we had to be quiet and duck down if people came by the window. later, two people came by the window (i did’nt know them), a lady and a man, and the lady saw me. she called my name and i sat up because i knew she already saw me. then we ‘appear’ outside & the lady gets in a fight with someone, i don’t remember, and starts shooting at them with a paintball gun or something. then we (me, erik, moma, maybe grandma/papa, & apparently taylor) go inside through the back door (the layout is a little different) and sit down.

grandma says, “doug, now niccole’s going to talk to you.” and moma said, “oh yeah, i wanna hear this.” moma’s sitting on the floor by the couch (to my left) and taylor is sitting by her, in front of me. then, it hits me, taylor’s dead. he looked so stressed because of doug, he was sitting on his knees and running his fingers through his hair while sighing. i then walked towards him, tearing up, with my arms held out because i wanted to hug him. we both (or just me) start crying hard and the look on his face before he hugged me, a look with so much care and concern, just kills me that i won’t be able to see that face again. we hugged really tight and i kinda had a flashback thing, i don’t really remember. i never really hugged taylor when he was alive. but this, was so enjoyable that i can’t even really think of a word for it.

then the dream ended, i woke up and started to cry.

i love you taylor, always.
-jazzy”

I am not stupid. I know that you have access to the gallery through your script. Sure, it was a pic of him and Huk but you can’t just go and delete things of this website. It is MY website where I have stored the small amount of pictures and memories that I have. LEAVE IT ALONE.

I have not tried to contact you, bother you, respond to your horrible and sick attempts to push my buttons. I don’t even live in the same town as you. You have caused so much fear and damage to my daughter. We are trying to heal from the hell you put us through all summer long. LEAVE US ALONE!

If you need something removed from the website, send an email and it will be done. Do NOT take it upon yourself to remove priceless things such as pictures. I did not have a copy burned. You have already stolen and damaged many of my dead sons things which is absolutely disgusting. LEAVE US ALONE!

I do not have the time or energy to deal with you anymore. LEAVE US ALONE. My poor Taylor is in heaven watching over us and nothing is going to get to us so give it up! He’s also watching you and I’m sure he’s very disappointed in how you’ve conducted yourself.

Nine months since you’ve seen my face and you’re still at it. Give it up!

Everything is so clear to me now what you did to Samantha. If you did HALF of what you did to me to her, IT’S NO WONDER SHE KILLED HERSELF. You can try all you want to make me out to be crazy like you did to her with everyone who knew her. After all, you do this kind of things when no one is around to witness. The fact of the matter is, your son doesn’t have a mother and it is because of YOU.

GET HELP!

I met Chelsea when I was 8 years old. She was a bit older than me but appeared much younger. She had a condition, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. She was diagnosed when she was 2. Her grandparents, Vance and Wanda were our next door neighbors and very close family friends all of our lives.

I’ll never forget when I heard the news that the family would be moving to Anacortes from Neah Bay. We were so STOKED. We would be entering the 7th grade together and it was going to be a blast! I wasn’t the slightest bit worried about her “fitting in” or whether kids would stare or think she was different. In my world, she was my friend and I’d stick up for her till the end. She was in my PE class. She didn’t have to participate but she’d sit by the stage and enjoy watching me hating PE. I’d blow her shit about it and she would laugh at me while she did her papers etc. She never really seemed to mind watching everyone run and jump and play. That’s what I admired so much about her.

We’d often walk to the hospital after school and go to her physical therapy sessions, buy up all the jolly ranchers in the gift shop when we waited for her gold shots, and come to my house for some Mtv, crude jokes, and many bouts of pure laughter. I loved when my parents would toss us some cash and we’d walk all the way to McDonalds and back. We’d stop at Commercial Market along the way and raid the candy counter. Sometimes we’d flip people off that were driving by if they dared to stare at us.

I remember almost getting kicked out of the movie theatre watching Pet Cemetary because we were laughing so hard and couldn’t stop. I remember watching “faces of death” while eating pizza rolls and spitting out the chewed up remains of our snack because it was so gross. I remember driving my dads truck, just her and I listening to pink floyd driving the loop road at washington park. I remember making “super dooper sandwiches” and stuffing our faces till we almost puked. I remember catching tad poles over at the middle school swamp. I remember shoplifting outliner pens (remember those?) and writing on a car at he pool. We heard a “hey you!” and I swear to God, Chelsea ran across the street, jumped across the sidewalk and sprinted, yes SPRINTED across the field and down the hill by the tennis courts and I COULDN’T KEEP UP. That was amazing.

I remember, we were like 10, when she had part of her hip bones put into her feet at Seattle childrens orthapedic hospital. She had a walker and two casts on her legs. One day, We had an uncontrollable laughing spell. It took forever for her and her walker to get in her grandmas house to find that it was occupied! We booked it to my house and got in and both ours were occupied. OMG, we thought, still laughing so hard. She kept saying she was going to pee her pants. So we got back in at her grandmas and she got to the bathroom door and… you guessed it. Right down her casts! Omg we laughed and laughed at that for years to come. It wasn’t so great at the time but she was so brave and life was so wonderful to her that she was able to keep her chin up through almost any situation.

She had a very contagious laugh that I will always hold dear to me. Her resiliance and strength taught me alot in my younger years. Skills that I would take into my teenage years and beyond. Her light hearted spirit will forever be a part me. She stood by me through thick and thin. We prank called the fire department together. We got into a car wreck on graduation day together. She stood by me through the birth of Taylor 10 days after graduation. And she was there for me when I put him to rest last year. I could go on and on and on. II will never forget her.

Chelsea, I am so glad that we got to talk this last summer. I know you were suffering from depression and your knees were losing their screws. I thoroughly enjoyed our 3 hour phone call and I am even more glad to have run into you at the doctors office before I was forced to move out of town. My mother and I were just talking about you last weekend. She said she saw Megan and that she mentioned you hardly came out of your room. Now that I had a car that was running and I had got back on my feet again, I was going to come see you. In fact, I sent a facebook message to the captain of Jakes boat just YESTERDAY hoping to find him so I could find out exactly how you were doing before contacting you.

Chelsea, I want you to know that you were a true inspiration to me. If it weren’t for your strength and perseverance throughout the years, I don’t know how I would have handled the unimaginable this past year. I have always admired you, loved you, and held you dear. You are not just a friend or a best friend to me. You are like my sister I always wish I had. With that being said, everytime I hear Bon Jovi, Violent Femmes, Poison, and the like, I will shout to the heavens, “Rock on, sister!”

Now run, girl, run run RUN with God. Run with Taylor. Jump and frolick with your grandma and grandpa Anderson. You are no longer in pain. You are no longer limited. I now have yet another angel that I know will always be watching over me and my family. I will never forget the last words we both said to each other…. “I love you”

RIP Chelsea Dawn Anderson

Description: This group is intended for people who have lost a child, sibling, friend, or any other loved one from suicide. The anguish we feel and the continued question, “WHY?” can haunt us and debilitate us if we are forced to process something like this alone.

Losing a loved one to suicide is different from any other loss. It is the mother of all tragedies. The death is very sudden and often violent. The road we travel trying to come to grips with what happened can take a lifetime.

On top of the death, the loss, the pain, we suffer a secondary trauma. We are often ostracized, blamed, judged and the world just isn’t the same place that it was before.

I decided to start this group to end the lonliness. There is no reason anyone should have to go through this alone. We can post pictures, memorial websites, articles, poetry, and we can vent the rage and the fury as well as the guilt and despair. We are not alone. There are others who have been there. There are others who truly understand.

I hope this group is of great help for the numbers of survivors that are growing every single day. Come share this special place with me where we can honor our loved ones without judgement. Thank you.

Email: FacebookSurvivorsOfSuicide@gmail.com

For those of you who are facebook users, please visit and say hello. I was just created and I’d love to see more members to share their stories and offer each other support.

Thanks,
Niccole

From: ashleejay. [relapse] (14704805)
To: (0)
Date: Feb 12, 2009 4:30 PM
Subject: look what i found. :’( i fucking hate this.

hereos die first.

i miss you babe.

My Biggest Hero Everrrr.

TaylorMartinMcLaughlin

“And I leave you all with these final
words ‘Like a wolf among sheep, I am a
beast in flesh, walking upright among
men.
‘”
-taylor.

Rest In Peace baby, I love you.

June 28th, 1990 - May 21st, 2007

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.

I’ve tried to accept the fact that he’s gone. But I’m still in shock. He was the most amazing boy I have ever met. I was insanely in love with him for three years and hopefully he felt the same way towards me. Saturday, he became more than just the guy I was in love with, he became the guy I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. The day I got the news, I couldn’t believe it, I truthfully didn’t want to. Then again, I don’t think anyone did. I was in complete shock. I couldn’t think of what to do with myself. I had just talked to him the day before and he wasn’t in the best of moods, but he still didn’t seem like he was gonna do what he did. It’s tragic, the way we lost him. He was well loved. Someone lost a homecoming date, a sibling, a best friend, an aquaintance, a partner in class, an entertainer, an advice giver, a person to just chill with, a lover, a class mate, etc. the day he died. He’s in a better place now and I hope he’s happier there then he was here. What happened was completely unexpected from him. He seemed completely happy.

He was the only person who got me to say words I thought I would never say to someone. He was the guy that made me smile no matter what mood I was in. He could make anyone laugh no matter what. He made a girl feel like she was the most gorgeous thing that walked on this planet. I’ll miss the way he’d scare the shit outta me and just make fun of me afterwards. I’ll miss the gay names he called me. I’ll miss the way he looked at me when he knew I was lying to him about something stupid, I’ll miss the way he would stand oddly close to me and breathe on the back of my neck, I’ll miss the way he would be so sly about telling me he loved me, I’ll miss the smile he got when he was up to nothing good, I’ll miss the ways he told me loved me, I’ll miss our late night phone calls and just listening to him talk about the oddest things. His dream, was to be a hero and a dad. Well he’s my biggest hero and I hope he knows that. He didn’t last to be the dad part, but I know if he did, he would’ve been the most amazing dad ever. I’ll miss the way he looked at me with the most amazing blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I’ll miss his laughter around me. I’ll miss his voice. I’ll miss the feeling that I used to hate so much everytime I saw him. I’ll miss every single little thing. Even those gay sideburns he shaved off. Some people know how I felt about him, and they know he was my world, my EVERYTHING. Without him here, I feel completely useless. I don’t care about my appearance, I can’t get myself to want to go to school, I can’t laugh about things I used to laugh about. I can’t really do anything without him, it all reminds me of him. If you go around and ask people about him, you would know how great of a person he was, even though he was a bit perverted. You could ask any girl that too. Atleast every other word that came out of his mouth had to do with sex. He was my first everything, including my first love. And I will love him no matter what. Forever. I wish I could explain how I really felt about him. But it’s impossible to put in words. I wish I could just have told him how I felt the day I wanted to. I wish I would’ve been around when he called. I wish he just would’nt have done what he did.

My heart especially goes out to his mom, Niccole. Who happens to be extremly strong and completely amazing. I don’t think I know anyone that could handle what’s going on, as well as she is. I admire her for that. Even though I just met her today, and talked to her about everything, I love her to death. She brought the most amazing boy into this world and I do owe her for that.

I hope he rests in peace and I’ll miss him sooo much. I already do and it’s been two days. I love you Taylor Martin McLaughlin. You were my one and only. I will never forget you and you were and still are, extremely amazing. You will forever own my heart.

http://30daystodeath.livejournal.com/
http://www.youtube.com/vidzforthefam
http://30daystodeath.com/index.html

I found this post when I was working yesterday. I read through it and I read the comments on the blog site and the youtube site. I am disgusted by the human race at this point. No one of all the posters there could say anything except call him a fag, a loser, an attention whore and just urge him to do it now. I brought this thread to the attention of my email support group called “Parents of suicide”. I knew that they would take it very seriously and know the proper way to deal with it.

It broke my heart to see him write that he knew his mother would be ok. I lost it. He is so wrong. His mother will be in a state of permanent agony and he is so lost in himself and his own pain that he has absolutely no idea what anguish he will leave behind if he goes through with this on day 30.

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to do something so I asked the support group leader for help and she called the police in Vegas where he is at now. They called her back saying there was nothing they could do because they couldn’t prove he was in Vegas. I said a little prayer for him and luckily about an hour later he posted a new video and he showed himself and the Treasure Island hotel so now there was absolute proof that he was in Vegas.

I called the police right away and let them know about it. They took down all the info I could give them from his video and they said they took it very seriously and they were on it.

Today, the lady from the support group got a call back from them stating that his picture is in the hands of every policeman in Las Vegas. If they see him, he will be taken in.

I think it’s great news but at the same time I wonder why they can’t get his personal info from the website host and do a check to find out which hotel and room he’s staying in. I can’t understand. We shall see how this goes.

Someone told me today “You can’t save the world”. Yes, yes I know but I can sleep at night knowing I tried with just one. My heart bleeds for his mother whether she finds out in time or not. Let’s pray that she does.

I get so mad at myself and upset when I think about the whole propane incident, the way D had spouted towards me and Jaz over and over while we were trying our best to cope and get out of there, the secret bank accounts he had created, the funeral and bill money that was donated to us which he paid his bills off with behind my back, and the ways in which he slowly turned every friend, family member, and even my counselor against me towards the end so that I would have no support and everyone would think I was crazy and distance themselves when I really needed help the most.

I recalled the time where Jazmin came into our room late at night. Things were bad and we were in the process of breaking things off and figuring out what to do already. She had tremors in her torso that were involuntarily shuddering over and over. She sat on the edge of the bed and I felt her. I couldn’t believe it. I turned to D to show him too. Me and Jaz were both completely floored when he jumped up and screamed “Stop hitting me!!!” We were both like WTF no ones hitting you. Jaz reminded me just last week that after that, we had found recording equipment in my closet.

The other unheard of reaction from him happened when I had Jazmin at the dentist and we were on the way home and her dad was going to meet us at the house to pick her up. He had his girlfriend driving so this was early June after his surgery. I called the house to make sure D wasn’t there and poor Jaz was bleeding out of her mouth extra bad and the laughing gas had her all loopy and almost sick. He yelled at me and threatened to call the cops if either one of us showed up there. I couldn’t convince either way about it. He just snapped and threatened me. I met Jazzys dad at the church to exchange her and we agreed not to tell him. Later, I found his recording equipment from his old studio in the basement room fully wired up the wall, across the ceiling and into Taylors room with a double phone jack behind his dresser. I called the cops but they wouldn’t do anything.

This all has boggled my mind and has been hard to process over the past 6 months on top of everything else I have had to deal with. I couldn’t figure out how a human being could be so cruel and go to such lengths to sabatoge me. Why not just break up and move on without causing harm where there was already so much harm done? How could I have protected Jazmin better? Why would no one believe me? Why would no one help us?

I had to call D about a month ago and warn him to not wave to Jazmin or even look at her ever again. I also called him because SOMEBODY messed up my email account I used to use for my Parents of suicide support group. In December, I really could have used it, but again, it was ruined. I finally got him to admit his fear of the neighbor guy who was threatening to kill us and harassing us the whole time. He admitted to just getting out of there and did not care at the time of our safety, just his own. Well, I guess I wasn’t paranoid and delusional afterall. He knew I was in danger and it was a big “So what”. That’s that.

I often wonder if his family has any idea of what Jazmin went through that last month or so. Both the kids had to pull him off me one morning when I woke up to him with his forearm pressing on my throat and his fist in the air. That was followed by him running down the stairs screaming and me going after him in a frantic which resulted in me falling over the ledge about 20 feet onto my shoulder and neck and suffering a few bruised and cracked ribs. He left me there and the kids were horrified. That’s pretty much the last I saw of his son but my poor daughter had to see alot more than that in the following month of scurrying to get out of there.

I have beat myself up so badly over all of that, that sometimes I can’t sleep at night. I couldn’t protect my son and I could hardly protect my daughter from hurt. I couldn’t make sense of it all. My skills of being able to tell what another person was capable of were completely skewed to the point no one believed when I DID try to ask for help. It was always, “Who would do something like that?” followed by, “I know! I never saw this coming!” and then total rejection.

Well, today, at 6:30 am as I”m mowing over it all again, I was finally able to get back to sleep. I can’t explain how this happened, but I had a very intuitive and soothing dream. I never have dreams about D at all but this time I did. I could see things from a different perspective. My parents were in it. My old cat, creampuff, and my old dog, Trixie were in it. Also, Lindy, my brothers old dog was in it too.

It would take me forever to explain the details, but let’s just say I woke up with a sense of peace. I woke up with a renewed ability to “let it go”. I know that I tried everything I could when I would see some of the mild incidents happen with him. I could always sense it coming in the beginning. I did my best to try and make him see what was happening and change it around with a bit of anger control. From embarassing angry blurting at someone on the road or a restaurant, to the extreme horror of him beating up the dog. (That was the WORST). I NOW know that this was not my fault. I KNOW that this was totally out of my control. I also got the “message” that his family is or will be able to help him somewhat and not keep going with their heads in the sand like everything is ok. What we experienced was there before I came along and is there afterwards. They aren’t my lessons to learn. They are his.

I feel like I’ve been held back from proper healing over the loss of Taylor. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much time that I really needed to properly grieve and to do fun things with Jaz at the same time. I’ve felt so cheated. I’ve had six months to hide out in the woods and pull myself together at rock bottom with nothing. I’ve had days and weeks of pure silence to rest my insides, meditate, and heal. I’m finally at a point where I can forgive MYSELF and I’m getting some energy back now. I’m healthier than I’ve been for a long time. Jazmin is thriving better than she has in a long time. Me and her dad are doing great with our new schedule and everything is fair and routine. Jaz loves the new place I live in and we are so fortunate that things turned out the way they have.

I just want to say thanks to my Grandma and Grandpa (RIP) who I know are watching over me. I know they sent me that dream last night and I never would have thought that the inner guilt that I was still suffering from could actually be released and gone. I didn’t even realize how much I was beating myself up on the inside. It is GONE… I feel so much relief. I love you guys and I know you and Taylor are with me all the time. I feel like alot of “static” has just disappeared. I’m able to continue with this journey to healing and to create our coming days, years and our future.

We are safe now. We are no longer alone.

niccoleisfree2008@gmail.com will work.

You can also get me at http://www.myspace.com/rrred

Since last April, which is where this series of blogs goes back to (might wanna click “older” if you want to go back that far), my head has been spinning. For eleven months of mental torture, processing, denial, acceptance, fury, rage, sorrow, and tremendous grief I didn’t know existed, there is now MORE to process. I’ve had to go back to those final moments from his point of view the best I can. That is the hardest part. How confused and terrified he was, how badly he hurt where his coping mechanisms had started to completely overflow, rather BURST, that morning of May 21, 2007. Now there’s more to the story.

I can’t even express how I felt initially when I heard that Taylor had been harassed, received death threats, and been lured in fraudulently just to be rejected yet again. It was all about rejection. Everytime he got close to anyone or anything in the final couple years, eventually it disappeared into thin air, and usually in a very harsh and sudden manner. He experienced so many scary moments as it was with the girlfriends parents and on top of it, he couldn’t even play a video game. He couldn’t socialize with other girls on myspace, as I had strongly urged him to do since his current situation was so unhealthy. His attempts to unwind and meet new people and play games turned around and stuck him right in the heart along with everyone else who contributed their part.

In the fall of 06, I tried to get help with some of the threats and harassment he was suffering with. My daughter was scared too and I was just totally pissed. We went to the Anacortes police department where officer O’Ryan would NOT let us in the door after waiting outside for nearly an hour in the freezing cold. This is why (God, I’ll never forgive myself for this) when he came to me begging me to call the cops in regards to online threats and such, I tried to make him toughen up and wait it out. If they won’t do anything about someone coming to our home to threated him, they certainly aren’t going to pay attention to a few emails.

Well, there is nothing I can ever do to bring Taylor back. I will never know exactly what happened in those final hours. I’ve even had very strong reason to believe that Taylor might have been physically harmed or frightened that morning. I won’t go into that in fear of retaliation. My girlfriend and I took several pics of things that were very suspicious in nature. I will look into some of these details further at a later date. I can’t handle much more than I”m already dealing with. There’s a bunch of things that just don’t look “right” to me. I did call the sheriff with my concerns and was completely blown off and called “a mother who isn’t dealing with the death of her son very well”. Whatever, at least it’s documented and my friend is my witness that I tried.

I still need to call the coroner again because “for reasons he could not explain”, Taylors autopsy pictures have been missing since day one. Also, the coroners report went into vivid detail about the length of his finger nails to the slight fluid in one lung due to a bit of a cold, but NOTHING about the huge lump on his forhead. The funeral home could hardly keep the makeup covering it. It was huge and there were probably a hundred people who can attest to the fact that it was there.

The whole investigation by the sheriffs department was botched. One of the female sheriffs told me directly that there is always a detective in a suicide case. Well there was not one. Dead kid, too bad, let’s do the paperwork and go take the mom to the ER and sedate her ass… Like another day at work for them.

Anyway!!! I can’t do anything about anything I’m not 100% certain of. So, for now, it will rest. But what I DO know for a fact, is that Taylor was a victim to cyberbullying at its extreme the last few weeks he was alive. They were going to “kill him” and “rape his sister”, etc etc etc… This isn’t mere childs play. This is a huge factor that contributed to his depression, anxiety, and fear. He wasn’t even safe at home from abuse. He didn’t come to me with this, as he knew I’d just make him turn off the machine. I had to find out months after he was dead.

Once I got through the April, May June, July, August, and September of inconvenient transition ex boyfriend abuse issues and got settled in my new place, I finally started to do more research on the laws in the state of Washington.

In 2007 a bill was passed in regards to cyberbullying or bullying by electronic device during school hours on school grounds. It’s crazy to me that it’s perfectly fine to harass, stalk, and threaten another person, especially a CHILD, and get away with it as long as it wasn’t done at school.

I emailed Tina Meier, Megan Meiers mom, God bless that woman, and she wrote back to tell me that she would do “anything she could” to help change the laws in Washington just as she did in Missouri which took effect on August 28, 2008. I can’t wait to talk to her on the phone. Well, I am nervous, yes, but we do plan on getting together after the holidays and she will help me with whatever knowledge and resources she has. I will inturn direct any of my resources and connections her way. This will truly be one one GOOD thing that can come out of all this daily pain. I love how she was the only one who addressed what I’m going through as “daily pain”. She knows EXACTLY how painful this is. Every hour, every minute.

As of yesterday, look what’s already happening. 7 people charged with cyberbullying The laws in Missouri in precious Megans memory are bringing justice to those who think the law doesn’t pertain to them as well as deterring others from thinking they can freely hide behind a keyboard in order to torment others. I know Megan is very pleased with the changes that are being made. And, if I know my Taylor, he’s probably following her around trying to ask her out! lol…

It’s about time something can be done. Everyones answer is “The parents should monitor their childs internet usage more.” or “Just take the computer away.” Why is it that innocent teens be punished and taken from socializing online over a few predators out there that try to ruin it for them. Why not pick out the bad apples and let things progress as they may.

There have been laws in place for prank calling for years. No one back then said, “Ground your child from the phone if they are victim to prank phone call threats.” Laws were made and from that point on, taken seriously, as they should. Time for legislature to catch up with technology. Look out Washington state. 2009 things are going to change.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYaWNYXpBis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seOQyMvG99w

With Christmas time being right now, I want to share just one thing that Tina said to me that brought me to tears. She said, “Maybe one day there will be a holiday when we can all smile and not feel like we have to smile so that everyone else around us thinks we are doing okay, but that we are really doing OKAY!”

And with that, Happy Holidays to everyone. And thanks for your support throughout these difficult times. You know who you are. We will do our best to make the most out of the love we have for each other and the blessings we are grateful for every single day.

Love you guys,

Niccole and Jaz