After receiving the voicemail from CPS, recommending that I have no contact with Jazmin, Todd, or his girlfriend, I call the number back that they left me. I thought it would be fairly easy. I wasn’t worried at all. I would never and have never hurt my child in any way. I got an voicemail that gave me an afterhours number to call. I was a bit irked that they chose to call right at about 5 pm, on a friday, to then shut their cell phones off but hey, how bad can it get?

I call the afterhours number and talked to a woman who told me there was no legal tie to the case. She said that “someone” called (Darlene) because she felt Jazmin was unsafe and that I was homeless. I assured her that I had a place to stay. Todd knew I had a safe place to stay. She informed me that I could raise a big stink about it and go get her immediately, OR that I just wait till the following Monday. I agreed to wait. Afterall, the one thing that everyone seemed to want is for me to crack. I wasn’t going to crack. I would play the game gracefully and it would all be over in a few days.

Monday rolls around and I can’t get through. Tuesday, I get a call at the very end of business hours saying that they would call me back the next day. She promised. When I told her I had somewhere to live, she informed me that now there was further concern as to my roommate. I was very irritated but agreed to wait till the next day. No call came. I called at 4:30 pm and left a message. This went on for days. She’d call me and promise to call the next day and then wouldn’t. I would leave a message every single day at 4:30 pm and she would call every 48 hours (I informed her I knew the law was that she couldn’t make me wait over 48 hours for a call back). Each time she would call back, it was right before 5 pm with a promise to call the next day.

After a week of this, I am starting to get very pissed! I had given her my address and waited for a whole week clutching the cell phone and not letting it out of my sight. I was informed they would come to my place, do the check, interview me, and be done. The fact that Jazmin was “safe” was their excuse. I reminded them that Todd had just had open heart surgery and he really didn’t need this stress. He was still unable to drive a car. She told me they would be coming to my home.

D kept on with the bossy txt messages. I was told I had the weekend to get the rest of my stuff. I couldn’t go there. During this week, my car had died on the highway as it was. I could not get to Anacortes. I told him to leave me alone. I had worse problems to deal with.

So I find out later, that CPS went to my OLD HOME the weekend that D was there getting his things. He told them a bunch of lies and he said he had no idea where I was or how to contact me. He was texting me!! How could he tell them something like that? And WHY did they not come to my home?? They knew I wasn’t there. I gave them my address several times. They had the cell phone number too!

So I start to crack. I call D’s mother. I told her I just wanted to get my things and be done with the situation. I asked her why he would tell CPS that I abuse my daughter!! She said “I can’t help you anymore.” and “I have no idea about anything”. Well that’s just great. I was so pissed off I called D’s cell phone over and over and he wouldn’t answer. He was out with his sister partying downtown. I texted her, no reply. Well I guess that’s that!!! I retreated to my room and cry myself to sleep. I cry every day as I get the 48 hour runaround from Mt Vernon CPS.

A dear friend of mine kept in touch with me through this and offered me a condo in another town. I met up with him, checked it out, and was SOLD. Now, they won’t bother with investigating Fransisco. They won’t need to. This wonderful friend truly saved me and I am so grateful to have him as a valued friend to this day. The next day, I load my car up and hit the freeway. Before I left I had to get my car fixed. Someone had poured dirt in my gas tank and all of my tires had been slashed and they were patched up. That ate up the remainder of the small amount of money I had. But that was ok! God sent me an angel that day.

My car barely makes it but I pray and pray the whole way there. It’s a studio condo, very small. Small is fine as long as I can see my daughter again. I stay on the floor in silence for the following month, calling at 4:30 every single day, leaving a message, and getting the 48 hour callback promising “tomorrow”. Over and over and over again. By this time, I’m allowed to talk to Jazmin on the phone so those moments were so precious to me. She was hanging in there, strong as could be. Her dad was working again by now and I was growing very concerned because she was home alone alot. I didn’t feel she was old enough for that. I dunno why CPS thought that was better for her than being with her mother. After all she’s already been through.

Now it’s starting to get close to Jazmin’s 11th birthday. August 21st was approaching and the tears won’t stop for nothing. I had nothing but a box of ashes and a blanket on the floor. My finger was getting more swoolen by the day from no health care for almost 2 months and no way to get there as my car was trashed and I couldn’t afford gas. I pray and I pray…

Finally, one day the lady asked me, “Can you come to our office right now?” I was like HELL YEAH, I’m out the door. I jumped in my dangermobile and flew there on fumes with a dollar in my wallet. The questions she asked me were ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!!! I was accused of so many outlandish things. Then the panic attack subject got brought up again. Just like at the rat cage. So it wasn’t just Darlene! She said there was another report. Gee I wonder who that was!!! When CPS went to my old house, D WAS THERE!!! Thanks to him and his utter selfishness, I was unable to see my daughter for the entire summer? WTF!

Anyway, I finished my interview and she promised to talk to Jazmin one more time so we could be together as soon as possible. She apologized profusely and said that they were busier than ever before. Whatever! So get this, another week goes by being wishy washed. I am angrier by the day and about to lose it. People in my new community think I lied about even having a daughter and are starting to think something is fishy about me. Like I care, but shit, I just want to be normal and fit in like a normal human being. When I finally get to speak with her directly on the phone, she tells me that she can’t finish the report. Since I moved to another county, THEY WOULD HAVE TO TAKE OVER!

I wondered if I was going to have to go through this entire process again. I’m devestated at this point and miss my daughter so much. Our phone calls were full of tears and love. We knew we would make it through this but we kept thinking “WHY????”

August 21st was DAYS AWAY. I started to call the new CPS. They didn’t have the report yet. WTF! The lady said she transferred it. “It’s not on my desk yet”. OMG I’m having a hard time now keeping my cool. On August 20th, the day before her birthday, the new CPS office gets my stuff, and someone is here within hours!! NICE!!!!! I’m so stoked. I can’t wait to talk to the new lady. She gets here. I give her a seat which is a fold up beach chair I had gotten out of my car. She agreed to a SUPERVISED VISIT the next day, Jazzys birthday. I have no one to supervise. I lost all my friends and no one can just do that. Shit… Luckily, my parents agreed to bring her up here. I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.

I can’t express the emotion, the tears, the excitement, and downright nausea I felt when I saw her get out of the car. My little girl had GROWN since I’d seen her. She had a different hairdo and she looked visibly OLDER. I couldn’t stop holding my baby girl and crying. I was so happy. I’m crying as I type this. I love her so dearly.

The first thing we decide to do is go to lunch and the mall to let her get an outfit. My parents drove us and we just kept snuggling in the backseat so happy. She noticed how purple my finger was and wanted us to go to a clinic to get it drained or something. I was really feeling “off” that day. My chest was red and I was getting to feel kind of feverish that day. I just thought it was anxiousness of seeing Jaz. I went in and they recommended I go straight to the hospital. There was a red line forming up my hand and they informed me that an infection of that magnitude could result in either losing my finger, hand, arm, or even possible death if the infection spread through my body.

So we spend Jazmins birthday in the ER… and it’s a good thing we went. You won’t believe what happens next…

To be continued….